Family tragedies expected and not expected
On the day of October 26,2014 my brother’s life was taken. Exactly 3 weeks after my brother’s homicide I was held up at gunpoint. It was such a tragic incident just taking the day to relax…I was at the nail salon midday. I was like “you have to be kidding me”. Not to mention two other homicides my family had encountered were still playing in my head. I wanted to fight back, but because we already had enough losses I opted to get out of the salon…so I ran out instead. I moved to AZ not knowing anyone. Trusting I knew I had to leave Kansas City, MO. I promised my mom I would come back to get her and I did just what I said I would…it wasn't easy. What was coming was expected, but never could I be prepared for the passing of my mother. After caring for her to the capacity that I did her struggle with Huntington’s disease took over. And if that wasn’t enough the passing of my dad 8 months later from COVID-19.
Relationships were strained, misunderstandings from family, associates and caregivers, it seemed as if people did not want me to give the attention and love to my mom and or could not understand why I was offering my mom so much love to the point it felt like they had resentment towards me. No, I'm not perfect. Intimate relationships with men and friendships with women were difficult because they thought I was being selfish, I’ve been told me “I should put her in a nursing home”, but what they didn’t realize was that she was already in a home, which was the safest place she could be, “My home”. Made no sense to me. I know that I didn't have the same freedom as others did to come and go, but, it's no one's fault. I chose to care for my mother, it was my responsibility.
Remerging to Fight
The healing process
The healing process looks different to people for me: grief counseling, vision boards, believing in myself, taking time traveling, understanding the assignment that was given to me caring for my mom and I am so grateful for it. Took on motivational speaking engagements, which allowed me to talk about the website and rebranding myself. What was and is most important about my healing process, which is still ongoing, is being transparent with identifying and speaking about how I feel in the moment and not being shameful about my emotions.
We don’t have to make the trauma our end story. Many people said to me “you make it look so easy” and I would respond “I had no choice and I wanted to do it because I have compassion and care for who I have taken responsibility for”. Her seed is inside of me and I am a part of her so I had to do it.
Walking In a New Season
Real Estate - Exodus Property Solutions, AZ, Exodus Real Estate, KS & MO, Licensed 20+ years. Short Sales and Foreclosure Certified, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Committee State Association, Local Board Chapter Director of WeServ, Grievance and Professional Standards Committee, Black Maricopa Chamber of Commerce, Global Alliance & Networking Committee, NAREB Local Phoenix Chapter.
Without my parents
I am grateful that the season has passed, and I consider that my parents were my parents and I appreciate everything they instilled in me to be a good person. The confidence and strength that I have from them are a testimony in itself because they weren’t able to make the choices in their time. Walking in this new season without my mom and dad adds to my sense of purpose. A new season means new beginnings, new opportunities, and things are being manifested in my life.
Motivational speaker in Milwaukee, WI April 23 as a the headliner hosted by Tina Marie’s Bridge Builder Social Club
Motivational Speaker’s Forum in Cincinnati, OH TBD